its over

Before I discuss the end of my academic career, I have one side note:

John arrives home from Japan for a 12 day visit this evening. In about a half hour a couple of us and John's family are all going out to a welcome home dinner at Spice Street. I am so excited! John's going to be back, at least for a hot second. I am looking forward to seeing him, and I can sense this'll be a long weekend...lots of hanging out, old school style. :) Yay!

So, college is almost officially over for me. I have one project to turn in next week and two exams and I will be officially done with school forever, or at least until I decide the real world sucks and I want to try graduate school of some sort...although I don't see that happening. Exciting! But bittersweet.

Last night a whole herd of us from work, and select friends, headed up to Franklin Street to ring in the end of classes/school/the weekend. It was a lot of fun. We went to Woody's and I played NTN Trivia, mildly anti-social, but I like having buttons to press and something to play with while I'm chilling at the bar. I think everyone had a perfectly awesome, fun time. Also, a cop hit on me in the bar. He was standing in my way, and I asked him to move and he turned around and said, "Hey. Five Dolla, five dolla to pass or you get handcuffed," while he grabbed at his handcuffs, smiling. Suneel started laughing immediately, and I am really glad my friends were able to witness that happen. Very interesting, entertaining, and a good story...also slightly creepy too, just a little bit. Ha.

Well I think that is all for now. I am awaiting Chases' arrival in his brand new hot Nissan Murano, its beautiful. Riding to dinner in style, hehe. I've never been to Spice Street, this should be great.

Welcome home John!!! :)

spades

Today I learned that people on internet gaming sites are mean.

Spencer and I teamed up to play some Spades on Yahoo! games, and from the moment we got into the room and started playing, the other team was talking shit about us...on the chat screen in front of us. AND, they were table talking. Do you know how insulting and annoying that is?

It pretty much took every ounce of myself not to answer at all, because I knew whatever was going to come out of my mouth was going to get me kicked out of the game by some Yahoo! administrator person.

Then, just to look really cool, I wrote some really lame comeback to the meanies and then tried to exit the game. Spencer managed to get out immediately. I proceeded to try and exit the game the wrong way, three times, three different ways. Whoops. Hope I don't come across those guys in a future spades game.

one week

Its the Sunday before the last week of school...EVER. I have two more days of work at my internship, 2 weeks left of work at the ITRC, 4 classes left, and 2 exams before my college career is over forever. Crazy.

My interview went well on Friday, but I am afraid that there are so many other applicants for the job that good may not be good enough, but I am confidently keeping my fingers crossed. I really want the job, its exactly what I want to do, and the perfect job to give me some career experience in media planning.

I am digging that the weather is kind of cold and cloudy today, its the perfect day to finish cleaning my house and sit down and do some work. I even told Cara I was backing out of our shopping trip to try and get stuff done so I can hang out tonight. I stayed pretty much sober last night, so I think me and the neighbors need to have a good night of chilling to end the weekend.

I had a great weekend, it was pretty low key, but nice. I finally got around to watching Sin City, which I liked a lot, its pretty gruesome, but the movie is really different from other movies, both plotwise, and in its direction. Worth seeing, I promise. My roomates were out of town too, so I enjoyed a little alone time and some intense cleaning, which makes me very happy. My apartment looks super, which is the way I like it. When things are clean around me, I feel calmer and better in general, dirt and mess make me kind of crazed feeling. Since my life is a little insane right now, having my personal things and space in order helps me feel slightly more organized.

Happy Sunday! :)

just fyi

Isn't it annoying when people put stuff on their AIM profiles way down at the bottom after a ton of blank space, so you have to scroll down for no good reason?

I think it is.

Also...I am spending the next 5 hours preparing for tomorrow's interview. I hope everything goes well!

procrastination

I got up late for class, got ready for the day in 10 minutes and hitched a ride to school with Janelle. After getting coffee, a bagel and walking all the way to class, Spence called and convinced me to go "shopping" with him, although I don't think anything was bought. Once unproductivity set in, my internship didn't happen either. I feel bad, but hell, they don't pay me. I will be making the hours up tomorrow though I suppose.

I did however apply for 4 jobs today and got an interview this Friday for a job I really want, the first place I ever sent my resume in fact. Cross your fingers, I'm desperate for a good, worthy job, and I think this is it.

Tonight are intramural softball finals. I haven't managed to play in any of our games, but apparently I am needed for the final game. It should be interesting, I haven't picked up a softball in a year now. My thoughts are that I will play some tennis before hand to get the coordination going and blood flowing, and hopefully that will translate into be halfway decent at softball tonight.

and so its tuesday

Well, I had a kickass weekend. Not only did I party, but I got work done while I partied. It was absolutely great. I watched Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events, which was very good, Jim Carrey is a super actor when it comes to acting strangely. On Friday, Angie had a party, which was a lot of fun, and a lot of strawberry daquari making. Mercedes managed to spill the blender while it was blending, which was the funniest accident of the night. :)

I am not exactly sure what happened to Saturday, it kind of disappeared into the mist, or haze of the weekend, although I am pretty sure me and the neighbors had a cookout, all 6 of us, it was excellent, my belly is still de-stretching I think. We also watched the movie "Belly," which I have never seen, it seemed good. Although by then, I was less than sober, and fell asleep before the end, which I never do, but all that eating and drinking did me in.

Then I was woken up Sunday by a call from Miss Cara, most other people merit hang-ups or grumbles, but she's way too sunny and nice to grumble at. So I got up earlier than I was going to...good to be useful right? And as I sat down to start all the reading I had to do, I called Cara to ask her a quick question. The quick question turned into me going over there to sit on the deck, do my reading, grill out the previous nights leftovers, and continue our quest to get lung cancer early in life (j/k, I really hope so anyways). As life goes, grilling out and reading turned into basketball and tennis, since it was beautiful out. So Scott, Spence, Cara and I lugged ourselves down to the courts with a full cooler of beer. I sat, read, drank beer and smoked in the sun while they played sports and drank and smoked; I jumped in on a little tennis action later in the afternoon too. We are the neighborhood fucking delinquents, but its great. Only we exercise, while doing things to counteract the exercise we are doing. It is a lot of fun though, I have to say.

Yesterday I was feeling a little worn out, so much is happening right now in life, I really feel like I am not putting the whole of myself behind anything: school, work, my job search, decisions regarding the future, my social life. Everything is being half-assed, because I only have the time to half-ass it. I really hate not feeling completely in-control and organized, but it is only for a short time. Soon school and work will be done with, and I will have all the time in the world to try and sort out life and re-organize/re-group my thoughts, actions and feelings.

Later this week I am going to take an employment skills evaluation test and have an interview with a staffing agency. I figure if I can't market myself well enough to get a job, hopefully someone else can.

I hope everyone is doing super, talk to you all soon I hope, ciao!

i had requests for a new blog post...

This week in Antonia's life about 8 things went wrong. Pretty super, huh? Two of the more memorable crappy things were: 1. kind of getting into a minor car accident, which is probably going to be fairly devastating to my car insurance/bank account, but i'm keeping my fingers crossed and trying to be optimistic, and 2. my boss said they would like to explore opportunities to continue working after my internship ends in two weeks, and then a day later told me they don't actually have any place or money to be able to employ me...yeah, thanks.

But, my mom was in town for 1.5 days, and it was great to see her, we had a very nice dinner together last night at P.F. Changs, which was absofuckinglutely delicious, and then we chitchatted over wine afterwards. We are getting along much better than ever before, each time we see each other we argue a little less, its nice. I feel like she is starting to realize who I am as a person and actually try to accept it, instead of attempting to change what she views as "wrong" with/about me.

So I think I might have a temporary post-graduation job plan. This should prove amusing to most people. Especially hilarious is that my fortune cookie last night said, "you will discover a new area of interest," or at least my mother thought it was hilarious. :) Anyways...the plan is to go to bartending school and be a bartender while I scout for jobs that will actually benefit and jump-start my career. This will all be after I move home, mope about the fact I am living with my parents, and then go and find myself an apartment. Thankfully my parents want me to live with them about as much as I do, so finding an apartment should go quickly at least. (ie: the 'rents will probably jump start the getting me an apartment before I actually move anywhere close to home).

Now it is the weekend, or in about 2 and a half hours (close enough) and I am stoked. Angie is having a party tomorrow, which should prove to be much fun. And then I will be sitting down with a lot of work for the rest of the weekend, hopefully it will be beautiful and I can sit outside at the coffeeshop all day Sunday again. School is two weeks away from being done forever! Oh my.

Thats all I can muster for now. I will leave you with a quote from Jon Stewart on last nights the Daily Show episode: "Iraq, Ireland, and Israel: three countries and four religions that hate each other. Go letter 'I'!"

yeah...

So spring weather and lots of outside time = sunburn. Whoops.

Last night me and Spence and Cara had wine and cheese on the porch on a beautiful spring evening. It was very nice, and sophisticated. Just practicing up Cara for her new job, where she's going to need all kinds of sophistication.

I also talked to John yesterday. He comes back to visit from Japan in a few weeks. I can't wait. I miss John dearly, and who knows when I'll be able to see him again (sad thought). We will have lots of fun.

Graduation is currently 33 days away. OhMyGodImFreakingOut! The job search is going horribly. Although I have limited options, which I then limit further after deciding not to sell myself short from the start and take jobs I don't want. And the economy fucking sucks right now. I like bitching. I also feel like I am allowed to bitch about this...it IS my future...

Time to go to my internship, which is in no way helping me/paying me/getting me a job/ teaching me much of anything new. But hey, hopefully its gonna get me some rockin' references. Which is my only consolation.

Adieu!

its spring

Its been absolutely beautiful in Chapel Hill for the past few days. Sunny, 70s, and not too much humidity.

Wait, why am I inside? That's right, I should go outside. I will be venturing to the coffee shop to do part of the mucho, mucho reading I have to do. Later I will be playing some tennis, I think. Its gorgeous and I need to enjoy the sun.

Well this was a lame post, but anyone not in Chapel Hill should be jealous its so nice here. And everyone in Chapel Hill: I hope you got a chance to enjoy the weather.

(P.S.-There's a new Desperate Housewives tonight. Hell yeah, the neighborhood Sunday night date is on. I love our 'Housewives' watching crew. Even the boys like it. ;) Or at least put up with it).

lessons

This week I have learned a lesson about myself. I think I knew this, but maybe if I write it down I will remember and prevent disillusionment in the future. I really dislike fakeness. In fact, about the only thing that makes my blood really boil is people doing or saying things solely to get what they want without regard to honesty or truth. Swetal claims she never sees me get mad, and wants to see me lose my temper; the time is now. Although I think it is not nearly as amusing as she imagines, I just tend to run my mouth for a hot minute and then sit down and stay quiet for a while to calm myself down. That’s my anger cycle.

Don't get me wrong. I can be a bitch, and I definitely say and do things that I shouldn't, or feel bad about later. The thing is that I DO feel bad about it. I have a built-in guilt mechanism that makes me feel guilty about a lot of things though, it may have been that catholic elementary school I attended. You know Catholics really enjoy guilt. Returning to the subject...I am honest, all the time. Sometimes it is unwanted honesty, and I definitely say things that have slightly hurtful consequences occasionally, which I tend to regret. But at the same time, I will never say things behind people's backs that I wouldn't to their face, it’s that simple. I also never claim to feel or want things that I really don't in order to manipulate others into giving me what I really want.

This week I have been generally frustrated by people in general. Women are catty and boys suck. I also no longer call any of the guys I know men, because as Mercedes said a little while ago: "Take a minute to think about it, do you really believe any boy we know is actually a man yet? Because they're not." Ha. Why the hell are humans so complicated? And at the same time, our differences as creatures are what draw me to want to know more about people. Gosh.

Sometimes I wish I wasn't smart, if I really want to call my contemplation about human life "being smart." Maybe if I didn't think and ask as many questions out of life I would be happier. At the same time, I would be miserable about the fact that others knew more than me, and that I didn't have the intelligence to know what questions to ask in life to get exactly where I want to go. I wonder if I will ever actually get to "where I want to go," considering I haven't the faintest idea of where that is. Consistently confusing to me is the pull between my Virgo nature to want things organized, planned out and tidy, and my desire to live life in the moment on a day-to-day basis. Hmm, I haven't taken enough anthropology or philosophy classes recently to make me think about other problems in the world and among other peoples, so apparently I'm contemplating myself. Some people wouldn't think that’s such a bad idea, but I generally dislike self-reflection as it gives me a sense of disappointment in myself for some reason. I wish I had all the answers. Would I really be happy if I had all the answers? Answers aren't always good. I suppose I won't ever know, but in the meantime, I will keep on keeping on.

we are the champions

TAR HEELS. 2005 NCAA Champions!

In my senior year too. It really doesn't get a whole lot better than this. I'm still excited, and have donned my NCAA champs t-shirt for the first time this evening. I bought 3, hehe. (Well 2, and 1 was bought for me...)

The last 5 days or so have been an absolute blur, but a great blur. It was great to see my friends from out of town this weekend, and I'm glad the Heels brought home a victory after they traveled so far. All the partying caught up with me this morning, despite detoxing and getting decent sleep yesterday, I have been a zombie pretty much all day. Although I think I made a super impression of seeming like I was being useful while I wasn't at work today.

If you haven't noticed, my entries are getting slightly lamer each time. I am truthfully disapointed in myself. :P I will try to do better soon.

its the weekend

Its Final Four weekend 2005. And hopefully this will all go as planned and the Heels will be winning. A couple of friends flew in from various parts of the country and I am so excited to see them! GO TAR HEELS!!!!!

I passed the Spelling and Grammar test today, after taking it for the 4th time. It is much harder than it sounds, no mean comments. :P I'm absolutely stoked.

Cara got her new job today, after interviewing only 2.5 days ago. I have to say I'm kinda jealous. She's gonna be making the big bucks! Cara's awesome and totally deserves it, I really am very excited for her. Tonight, we shall celebrate.

I'm lazy, that's all I got. Ciao for tonight.